200 Flirty Questions To Ask Your Lover To Spice Things Up

Hey there! Can I tell you something? In my seven years as a relationship therapist, I’ve seen couples sit across from each other on my couch, looking like strangers. They’ve been together for years, yet they don’t really know each other anymore. It breaks my heart every time.

But here’s the thing, it doesn’t have to be that way for you. The secret weapon? Asking the right questions.

I’m talking about those conversation starters that make your partner’s eyes light up, that get you both talking until 2 AM, that remind you why you fell for each other in the first place.

Whether you’re in a brand new romance or you’ve been together for decades, the right questions can completely transform your relationship.

Today, I’m sharing my ultimate collection of questions to ask your lover, the ones that have saved countless relationships in my practice and added serious spark to my own marriage.

Trust me, these aren’t your typical “How was your day?” questions. We’re going deep, getting flirty, and having some serious fun along the way.

Ready to fall in love all over again? Let’s do this! 🙂

The Top 20 Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

Let’s start with my tried-and-true favorites, the questions I recommend to almost every couple I work with. These are conversation gold, trust me.

1. What’s one thing I do that makes you feel completely loved?
2. If we had a whole weekend with no plans, how would you want to spend it with me?
3. What’s a memory of us that you replay in your mind when you’re having a tough day?
4. What’s something you’ve always wanted to try together but haven’t mentioned yet?
5. How do you feel most appreciated by me?
6. What’s a dream you have for us that you’re almost too scared to say out loud?
7. What made you realize you wanted something serious with me?
8. What’s your favorite way that I show you I’m thinking about you?
9. If you could change one thing about how we communicate, what would it be?
10. What’s something about our physical connection that you absolutely love?
11. How do you want to grow together as a couple this year?
12. What’s a small thing I do that makes your day better?
13. What do you think is our relationship superpower?
14. How do you like to be comforted when you’re stressed or upset?
15. What’s a tradition you’d love for us to start?
16. What do you think we balance perfectly in our relationship?
17. How do you feel when we’re apart for a while?
18. What’s a quality you see in me that I might not see in myself?
19. What makes you feel most secure in our relationship?
20. If you could tell our future selves one thing, what would it be?

These questions are pure magic because they focus on what’s actually working in your relationship while opening doors to deeper connection. IMO, these should be every couple’s go-to conversation starters.

Deep Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

Now we’re getting into therapist territory. These questions have helped couples in my practice break through surface-level conversations and create real emotional intimacy. Fair warning, these might lead to some intense conversations, but that’s where the magic happens.

1. What childhood experience shaped how you love today?
2. What’s your biggest fear about vulnerability in relationships?
3. How do you think your family background influences our relationship?
4. What does emotional safety mean to you?
5. What’s a belief about love that you’ve had to unlearn?
6. How do you handle conflict internally before it comes out?
7. What’s something you’re still healing from?
8. What makes you feel truly understood by someone?
9. How do you know when you can trust someone completely?
10. What’s a pattern in your past relationships that you don’t want to repeat with me?

Our early experiences with love follow us everywhere. These questions help you understand your partner’s emotional blueprint so you can love them exactly how they need it.

Fun Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

Okay, time to lighten things up! These questions are pure entertainment and perfect for those moments when you just want to laugh together and enjoy each other’s company.

1. If you could be any character from a TV show for a day, who would you pick and why?
2. What’s the most embarrassing thing that happened to you as a kid?
3. If we could have any animal as a pet (and it would be perfectly behaved), what would you choose?
4. What’s your most irrational fear?
5. If you had to eat the same meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
6. What’s the weirdest talent or skill you have?
7. If you could instantly become an expert at anything, what would you choose?
8. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
9. If we were in a zombie apocalypse, what would be your survival strategy?
10. What’s your guilty pleasure that you’re almost embarrassed to admit?

Shared laughter creates some of the strongest bonds between couples. These questions are guaranteed giggle-fests!

Juicy Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

Alright, let’s turn up the heat! These questions are for when you want to explore the steamier side of your relationship. Remember, timing and comfort level matter here, read the room and make sure you’re both in the right headspace.

1. What’s something about our physical chemistry that surprised you?
2. What’s a fantasy you’ve had about us that you haven’t shared yet?
3. How do you like to build up tension and anticipation?
4. What’s the most attractive thing I do without realizing it?
5. What’s a compliment about our intimate life that you’d love to hear?
6. What’s something new you’d be curious to explore together?
7. How do you feel most desired by me?
8. What’s your favorite way for us to reconnect physically after being apart?
9. What’s something I wear that drives you absolutely crazy?
10. What’s the most romantic and sensual setting you can imagine for us?

Creating a safe space for these conversations can seriously spice things up. Trust me on this one, vulnerability in the bedroom starts with vulnerability in conversation.

Cute Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

Sometimes you just want to make each other smile and feel all warm and fuzzy inside. These questions are perfect for those sweet, tender moments when you’re just enjoying being adorable together.

1. What’s the cutest thing about me that you noticed first?
2. What’s a little habit I have that you find endearing?
3. What’s your favorite way to make me smile when I’m having a rough day?
4. What’s a silly nickname you have for me in your head?
5. What’s something small I do that makes you feel lucky to be with me?
6. What’s your favorite memory of us being completely silly together?
7. What do you think our couple style is like?
8. What’s something about our relationship that makes your friends jealous?
9. If we were animals, what do you think we’d be as a couple?
10. What’s your favorite thing about lazy mornings with me?

Those intimate, unguarded moments are often the most precious. These questions help you create more of them.

Romantic Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

Ready to melt some hearts? These questions are designed to bring out all those romantic feelings and remind you both why love is the most beautiful thing in the world.

1. What moment made you realize you were falling in love with me?
2. What’s a romantic gesture that would completely surprise me?
3. How do you picture us celebrating our anniversary in 10 years?
4. What’s a love song that perfectly captures how you feel about us?
5. What’s the most romantic place you’ve ever imagined us visiting together?
6. What’s your favorite romantic movie couple and why do they remind you of us?
7. How do you want to be loved when we’re old and gray?
8. What’s a romantic tradition from your family that you’d want to continue with us?
9. What do you think makes our love story unique?
10. What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever imagined doing for me?

Every couple’s love story is special in its own way. These questions help you celebrate yours while planning for more romantic moments ahead.

Spicy Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

Time to really turn up that heat! These questions are for when you want to add some serious sizzle to your conversations. They’re bold, they’re fun, and they’re definitely going to get your heart racing.

1. What’s the most adventurous date you can imagine us going on?
2. What’s something daring you’ve always wanted to try with me?
3. What’s your favorite thing about our chemistry together?
4. What’s the most seductive thing I could wear on a date night?
5. If we could go away for a romantic weekend anywhere, where would spark your imagination?
6. What’s a secret desire you have about our relationship?
7. What’s the most exciting way you could imagine us spending an evening together?
8. What’s something thrilling we could add to our relationship?
9. What’s your favorite way to create anticipation between us?
10. What’s the most passionate thing you can imagine us doing together?

Adventure and romance make an intoxicating combination. These questions help you explore new territories together, both literally and figuratively.

Serious Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

Real talk time. These questions tackle the important stuff, the conversations that build lasting relationships and help you navigate life as a team. They might feel heavy, but they’re essential for long-term success.

1. How do you see us handling major life decisions together?
2. What are your non-negotiables in a long-term relationship?
3. How do you feel about our financial future together?
4. What’s your biggest concern about our relationship long-term?
5. How do you want us to handle disagreements and conflicts?
6. What does commitment mean to you in practical terms?
7. How do you balance personal goals with relationship goals?
8. What are your thoughts on marriage and what it represents?
9. How do you handle stress, and how can I best support you?
10. What’s your approach to maintaining individuality within our relationship?

Money conversations are awkward but absolutely necessary. Same goes for all these topics. Better to have these discussions now than be surprised later.

Flirty Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

Let’s bring back that butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling! These questions are perfect for adding some playful flirtation to your conversations and reminding each other why the attraction is still so strong.

1. What’s your favorite way to get my attention?
2. What do you think is my most irresistible quality?
3. What’s a flirty text you’d love to receive from me right now?
4. What’s something I do that makes you want to kiss me immediately?
5. How do you like to show off that I’m yours?
6. What’s your favorite compliment to give me?
7. What’s the most attractive thing about our banter together?
8. What’s a subtle way you like to flirt with me in public?
9. What’s your go-to move to make me blush?
10. What’s something flirty you think about when you see me getting dressed?

Good banter is seriously underrated in relationships. Public flirtation adds excitement to everyday moments, and knowing how to make each other blush? That’s relationship gold right there.

Random Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

Sometimes the best conversations happen when you go completely off-script. These random questions are perfect for those moments when you want to learn something totally new about your partner or just have some unpredictable fun.

1. If you could have dinner with your teenage self, what would you tell him?
2. What’s the strangest compliment you’ve ever received?
3. If you had to choose a theme song for your life, what would it be?
4. What’s a skill you wish you could download into your brain instantly?
5. What’s the most ridiculous argument you’ve ever had with someone?
6. If you could live in any time period for a year, when would you choose?
7. What’s a conspiracy theory you secretly find kind of believable?
8. What’s your weirdest deal-breaker in dating that you had before meeting me?
9. If you could be famous for anything, what would you want it to be?
10. What’s the most unusual place you’ve ever felt completely at peace?

We all have that one conspiracy theory that makes us go “hmm…” and everyone has completely absurd fight stories. These questions uncover the quirky sides of your partner that make them even more loveable.

Important Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

These are the heavy hitters, the questions that shape the foundation of your relationship. They might not be the most fun to ask, but they’re absolutely crucial for building something lasting and meaningful together.

1. What does a successful relationship look like to you?
2. How do you want to grow as a person within our relationship?
3. What are your core values that you’d never compromise on?
4. How do you see us supporting each other’s dreams?
5. What’s your vision for how we’ll maintain our connection long-term?
6. How do you want us to handle family relationships and boundaries?
7. What’s your approach to work-life balance in our relationship?
8. How do you want to handle major life transitions together?
9. What does emotional intimacy mean to you?
10. How do you envision us making big decisions as a couple?

Values compatibility is essential for long-term success. Life will throw curveballs at you both, so having a plan for how you’ll handle them together makes all the difference.

Final Thoughts

Whew! That was quite a journey, wasn’t it? We’ve covered everything from sweet and silly to deep and meaningful, from flirty to serious.

But here’s what I want you to remember as a relationship therapist who’s seen it all: the magic isn’t just in asking these questions, it’s in really listening to the answers.

But remember, timing matters. You don’t have to ask all these questions in one marathon session (though honestly, that sounds kind of amazing!).

Sprinkle them throughout your daily conversations. Ask one during a long car ride, bring up another over dinner, text one when you’re missing each other during the day.