How To Make Him Chase You: 15 Proven Strategies That Actually Work

So, you’ve been doing all the work, right? Texting first, planning dates, basically rolling out the red carpet while he just… exists. Yeah, that needs to stop.

Here’s the thing: you deserve to be pursued, chased, and valued. And guess what? Getting him to chase you isn’t about playing manipulative games or pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s about understanding male psychology and positioning yourself as the prize you actually are.

I’ve spent over seven years helping women navigate the tricky waters of dating and relationships, and I can tell you this: the chase matters. It matters a lot.

When a man works for something, he values it more. That’s not me being cynical, that’s just how humans are wired. So if you’re tired of being the one doing all the chasing, stick around. We’re about to flip the script.

Why Make Him Chase You In The First Place?

Let me hit you with some real talk. When a man has to put in effort to win you over, something magical happens in his brain. He starts seeing you differently. You’re no longer just another option, you become THE option.

Research backs this up too. The harder someone works for a reward, the more they appreciate it when they finally get it. Men are natural hunters (not in a creepy way, just psychologically speaking).

They’re wired to pursue challenges and feel accomplished when they overcome them. When you make yourself too available or do all the chasing yourself, you rob him of that experience.

Think about it like this: have you ever wanted something really badly, worked hard to get it, and then felt amazing when you finally did? That’s the feeling you want him to associate with you. When he chases you and wins you over, he feels like he’s conquered Everest. And trust me, he’ll treat you like the trophy you are.

Plus, the chase phase is where he figures out if he actually likes you or just likes the idea of you. It’s a testing ground for both of you. You get to see how much effort he’s willing to put in, and he gets to discover all the amazing layers that make you, well, you.

How To Get A Man To Chase You?

Alright, let’s get practical. Getting a man to chase you starts with capturing his attention in the right way. You need to be on his radar, but not in a desperate “notice me!” kind of way.

First up: confidence. I can’t stress this enough. A confident woman who knows her worth is like catnip to men. When you walk into a room with your head held high, when you speak your mind without apologizing for existing, when you set boundaries without guilt… that’s when he starts paying attention.

Flirting is your secret weapon here. Make eye contact and hold it for just a second longer than usual. Smile genuinely (not that awkward grimace we all do in photos). Play with your hair. These little signals tell him you’re interested without you having to write it on a billboard.

But here’s the crucial part: don’t come on too strong. Flirt a bit, then pull back. Show interest, then focus on something else. This push-pull dynamic creates tension, and tension creates interest. He’ll start wondering why you’re not all over him like other women might be, and boom, you’ve got his attention.

15 Proven Tips To Make Him Chase You

Ready for the good stuff? These strategies have worked for countless women, and they’ll work for you too. Remember, this isn’t about manipulation. It’s about understanding psychology and positioning yourself as the high-value woman you are.

1. Raise Your Standards High

This is numero uno for a reason. If you want to know how to make him chase you and actually commit, never, and I mean NEVER, lower your standards for any man. I don’t care if he’s got the face of a Greek god and the charm of a rom-com lead.

Once he realizes he doesn’t have to do much to please you, game over. He’ll lose interest faster than you can say “but I thought we had something special.” When you raise your standards, you’re sending a clear message: I know my worth, and you’ll need to step up if you want to be with me.

You’re basically telling him that your singleness has value. You’re not desperate to be in a relationship just for the sake of it. He needs to bring something real to the table, something that makes being with him better than being happily single. Trust me, this mindset shift changes everything.

High standards don’t mean being unreasonable or demanding perfection. They mean knowing what you deserve (respect, effort, consistency, honesty) and not settling for less. When he sees you won’t compromise on the important stuff, he’ll realize he needs to chase you properly if he wants a chance.

2. Maintain An Air Of Mystery

Everyone loves a good mystery. It’s why we binge-watch crime shows at 2 AM and can’t put down a thriller novel. That same principle applies to dating, and it’s one of the most effective strategies for how to make a guy chase you.

Men are naturally curious creatures. When they encounter a woman they can’t quite figure out, someone with layers they haven’t uncovered yet, they become intrigued. They want to solve the puzzle, discover what makes you tick, understand what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours.

Stop being an open book on the first date. You don’t need to share your entire life story, all your insecurities, and your five-year plan before dessert arrives. Share bits and pieces. Give him glimpses of who you are, but leave him wanting more.

That said, don’t withhold important information or lie about yourself. Mystery doesn’t mean deception. It just means you’re not laying all your cards on the table immediately. Let him work to discover the amazing person you are, layer by layer. The journey of getting to know you should be exciting, not a data dump.

3. Make Him Think About You

Want to occupy prime real estate in his mind? Be spontaneous and unpredictable (in a good way, not a “she might key my car” way). When you’re memorable and do unexpected things, you become the person he can’t stop thinking about.

Do something during your time together that sticks with him. Maybe you take him to a quirky spot he’s never been. Maybe you share a unique perspective on something he thought he understood. Maybe you end a great date with a soft, lingering kiss that leaves him wanting more.

The key is creating moments that replay in his mind. When he’s at work, he should be thinking about that thing you said that made him laugh. When he’s falling asleep, he should be wondering what you’re doing. When he’s with his friends, he should want to talk about you.

But don’t go overboard. You’re not trying to manipulate his thoughts 24/7. You’re just being interesting enough and creating enough positive experiences that thinking about you becomes natural for him. Quality over quantity, always.

4. Be Confident

If I could bottle confidence and sell it, I’d be a millionaire. Confidence is THE most attractive quality you can have, hands down. When a confident woman walks into a room, everyone notices. Not because she’s loud or demanding attention, but because she’s comfortable in her own skin.

A confident woman knows her worth. She doesn’t need external validation to feel good about herself. She knows what she brings to the table, what she deserves, and she’s not afraid to walk away from anything less. That energy is magnetic.

When you turn up your confidence level, he’ll be attracted to the positive vibe you radiate. Confidence isn’t about being perfect or never having insecurities. It’s about accepting yourself, flaws and all, and moving through the world with self-assurance.

Work on your self-worth. Remind yourself daily of your amazing qualities. Celebrate your wins. Learn from your losses without beating yourself up. When you genuinely believe you’re worth chasing, he’ll believe it too. And trust me, he’ll chase.

5. Play Hard To Get

Okay, I know this one gets a bad rap, but hear me out. Playing hard to get (when done right) is actually effective. Men love a challenge, even if they claim otherwise. It’s hardwired into their psychology.

They’ll choose a woman who makes them work for it over someone who’s immediately available every single time. Why? Because the chase activates something in their brain. It makes them invest emotionally. It makes winning you over feel like an achievement.

When you play hard to get, you’re not being mean or manipulative. You’re simply not being overly available. You have your own life, your own plans, your own priorities. He needs to fit into your life, not become your entire life.

But here’s the important part: know when to stop. If you play too hard to get for too long, he might think you’re not interested and move on. The goal is to create interest and investment, not frustration and rejection. It’s a delicate balance, but once you find it, it works like magic.

6. Catch His Attention

Let’s be real: physical attraction matters. Men are visual creatures (not in a shallow way, just biologically). You don’t need to look like a supermodel, but taking care of yourself shows self-respect and makes you more attractive.

This doesn’t mean you need to cake on makeup if that’s not your thing. It means being the best version of yourself. Take care of your skin. Wear clothes that make you feel confident. Keep yourself healthy and glowing. When you feel good about how you look, it shows.

Pay attention to what he finds attractive, but don’t completely change yourself. If he mentions he likes your hair a certain way and you don’t mind wearing it like that sometimes, go for it. But never transform into someone you’re not just to please him.

The key is enhancing what you already have, not creating a fake version of yourself. Authenticity is attractive. Confidence in your appearance is attractive. Trying too hard or being someone you’re not? Not attractive. Find that sweet spot where you look good and feel like yourself.

7. Flirt

Guys absolutely love women who know how to flirt and aren’t afraid to show their playful side. Flirting signals interest without being too forward. It creates a fun, charged atmosphere that makes him want more of your attention.

Flirting doesn’t have to be complicated. Make eye contact and hold it while smiling. Lightly touch his arm during conversation. Tease him playfully about something harmless. Laugh at his jokes (when they’re actually funny, not fake laughing at everything he says).

Show him your naughty side (within your comfort zone, obviously). Let him see there are different facets to your personality. You’re not one-dimensional. You can be professional, sweet, funny, serious, and yes, a little flirty and playful when the situation calls for it.

Flirting makes the chase more interesting for both of you. It adds an element of excitement and anticipation. Just remember to keep it balanced. Flirt, then pull back. Show interest, then focus elsewhere. That push-pull dynamic keeps him on his toes and wanting more.

8. Give Him A Little Competition

Nothing motivates a man quite like knowing he’s not the only one interested. A little healthy competition keeps him alert and reminds him that you’re a catch other men notice too.

You don’t have to rub other guys in his face or be disrespectful. Just don’t hide the fact that you have options. Go on dates with other people if you’re not exclusive. Mention (casually) when someone compliments you. Let him see other men appreciate you.

When a man realizes other guys are vying for your attention, something primal kicks in. He doesn’t want to lose you to someone else. He’ll step up his game, put in more effort, and make his intentions clearer if he’s serious about you.

Just be careful not to overdo this one. The goal is subtle competition that motivates him, not making him jealous or insecure to the point where it damages trust. Use this strategy wisely and watch how quickly he moves to secure his place in your life.

9. Don’t Give Him Any Extra Benefits

This is huge, and so many women mess this up. If he hasn’t put a label on your relationship, don’t act like you’re in one. Don’t give him relationship benefits without the relationship commitment.

What do I mean by benefits? Emotional support like he’s your boyfriend. Exclusive access to your time and attention. Physical intimacy beyond what you’re comfortable with for a casual situation. Basically, acting like his girlfriend when he hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend.

Men love the emotional support and consistency that comes with a relationship. If you’re giving him all of that without requiring commitment, why would he chase you? He’s already getting everything he wants without putting in the work or making things official.

Keep dating other people until he makes things exclusive. Maintain your independence. Don’t rearrange your entire life around his schedule. Nobody chases what they already have. Make him realize that if he wants full access to your time, energy, and affection, he needs to step up and commit.

10. Keep Your Emotions In Check

This one’s tough, especially if you’re someone who wears your heart on your sleeve (guilty as charged sometimes). But keeping your emotions in check during the chase phase is crucial if you want him to pursue you properly.

Do NOT be the first to say “I love you.” I know it’s tempting when you’re feeling all the feels, but resist. When a guy knows you’re more invested than he is, he tends to pull back and put in less effort. It’s not fair, but it’s reality.

This doesn’t mean being cold or emotionally unavailable. It means matching his energy and not getting ahead of where the relationship actually is. If he’s texting you once a day, don’t text him five times. If he’s planning dates once a week, don’t start planning your future wedding.

Stay present and enjoy the process without getting too attached too quickly. Protect your heart while still being open to connection. It’s a balancing act, but it’s essential. Once you’re in an established relationship, you can let your emotions flow freely. But during the chase? Keep them measured.

11. State Your Boundaries

Boundaries are sexy. Seriously. When you know what you will and won’t tolerate, and you’re not afraid to communicate that, it shows strength and self-respect. Those are incredibly attractive qualities.

Don’t just go along with whatever he wants because you’re afraid of rocking the boat. If he teases you in a way that bothers you, say so. If he cancels plans last minute, don’t just smile and say “no worries.” Let him know that’s not okay with you.

When you set boundaries, you’re showing him you’re a high-value woman who knows her worth. You’re not desperate for his attention. You won’t tolerate disrespect or poor treatment. He’ll need to be on his best behavior if he wants to be with you.

Men actually respect women who have boundaries more than women who don’t. It might seem counterintuitive, but it’s true. Boundaries create a framework for how he should treat you, and if he’s a quality guy, he’ll rise to meet those standards.

12. Awaken His Protective Instincts

There’s something called the “hero instinct” in men, and tapping into it is a proven strategy for making him chase you. Men have a deep-seated need to feel needed, to protect, to provide, to be someone’s hero.

This doesn’t mean playing helpless or pretending you can’t do things yourself. It means allowing him to help you sometimes. Ask for his advice on something. Let him fix that thing you could probably fix yourself. Accept his help when he offers it.

When he feels like your knight in shining armor (even in small ways), it creates a bond. He starts associating you with positive feelings of accomplishment and purpose. He wants to keep being your hero, which means he’ll keep pursuing you.

Just be careful with this one. If he doesn’t actually like you, awakening his protective instincts might make him see you as a burden rather than someone he wants to care for. This strategy works best when there’s already mutual interest and attraction.

13. Do Not Make Him Your Priority

This is where so many women go wrong. They meet a guy they like, and suddenly he becomes the center of their universe. Everything else (friends, hobbies, personal goals) takes a backseat. Don’t do this.

Keep living your life. Hang out with your friends. Pursue your hobbies. Work on your goals. Go on that trip you’ve been planning. Your life should be full and exciting with or without him in it.

When he sees you have a rich, fulfilling life that doesn’t revolve around him, two things happen. First, he realizes you’re not desperate or needy. Second, he starts wondering how he can become a bigger part of your awesome life.

Plus, when you’re busy and happy, you’re naturally more attractive. You have interesting things to talk about. You’re not sitting around waiting for his text. You’re out there living, and he’ll want to chase you to be part of that life. FYI, this also protects you from losing yourself in a relationship.

14. Don’t Text Him All The Time

Texting is both a blessing and a curse in modern dating. It’s convenient, but it can also make you seem too available. If you want to know how to make a man chase you through text, the answer is simple: don’t be too available.

When he texts you, don’t respond immediately every single time. Wait a bit. You’re busy living your fabulous life, remember? You’re not sitting by your phone waiting for his message. Take your time to respond, and when you do, keep it relatively short.

If he sends you paragraph-long texts, you don’t need to match that energy every time. Keep some of your responses brief and playful. Leave him wanting more. Make him wonder what you’re doing that’s keeping you from texting back immediately.

A word of caution: don’t take days to respond regularly, or he’ll think you’re ghosting him. And once you’re actually in a relationship, you can text more freely. But during the chase phase? Less is more. Save the lengthy, heartfelt texts for when you’ve secured the commitment you want.

15. Know When To Give

Alright, so you’ve done the work. You’ve been mysterious, confident, busy, and all the things. He’s chasing you like his life depends on it. Now what? You need to know when to give him something to show you appreciate his efforts.

This doesn’t have to be anything major. Maybe it’s a genuine compliment about something specific you admire about him. Maybe it’s a thoughtful gesture or a small gift. Maybe it’s finally letting him kiss you after several dates of building tension.

The point is to reward his pursuit with something meaningful. Show him that his efforts aren’t going unnoticed. Let him know that chasing you is worth it because you’re capable of giving back when someone treats you right.

This creates a positive feedback loop. He puts in effort, you acknowledge and appreciate it, he feels good and wants to put in more effort. But timing is everything. Give too soon, and you lose the chase. Give too late, and he might give up. Find that sweet spot where he’s invested but still excited to keep pursuing you.

Final Thoughts

Look, these strategies might seem like games at first glance, but they’re really not. They’re about understanding human psychology and positioning yourself as the high-value woman you are. Mastering how to make him chase you sets the foundation for a healthier, more balanced relationship where both people value each other.

The chase matters because it creates investment, builds attraction, and helps both of you figure out if this thing between you is real. Just remember to know when to let him catch you (if he’s proven himself worthy). And if you’re putting in all this effort and he’s still not stepping up? That’s valuable information too. Some guys just aren’t worth the chase, and that’s okay. You deserve someone who recognizes your worth and pursues you accordingly. Now go out there and let him work for it. 🙂